There is none righteous
by JestaAriadne
Summary: Prussia comes down with a frankly adolescent crush on Poland all over again, and goes to bother Lithuania for advice. Or a fight. Either would be good, but Lithuania is a total disappointment on both fronts. I got a great review on another fic the gist of which was "poor prussia...LOL" and that's also the basic theme here.


**Notes:** This was inspired by a tumblr writing meme idea - thank you to felicja-j and for everyone else who enables my experiments in prussia-poland-lithuania dynamics :D

Prussia and Lithuania in Russia's house, sometime up in the second half of the 20th Century again. A very similar setup to Consider Me, yup :) Only this time with… _more_ offscreen Poland! And a little less sex and immediate violence in the air! A quick light-angst and reference-filled scribbley with lots of dialogue again. And Prussia gets to make a nice speech, which is one of his/my favourite things for him to do.

* * *

The thing that happened — well, it didn't, quite. Nothing happened. But the thing that nearly happened happened the last time Prussia snuck out to bother Poland. Which he's been doing a fair bit. It's funny, that. The way the hatred between them is slipping away, leaving that other feeling that wasn't so inextricably bound up with the hating as the modern dramas have it after all. Prussia has the crazy, dizzy, adolescent feeling that Poland might actually _like_ him now, just a bit— anyway he tolerates him— maybe it's the circumstances but in the circumstances Prussia will take that, because he, Prussia, he—

The thing that nearly happened was Prussia nearly went and made a _confession of his feelings,_ so to speak. To Poland. He thinks he might have, in fact, given the game away, even if the words remained unspoken.

And that's awkward.

But what _if_?

It's insane.

And what do you do in a situation like that but take it to Poland's ex, or eternal crush, or _dear friend-_ in-exile — and once upon a time your very favourite target practise but a whole lot's changed since then — Lithuania. It'll be great. Maybe he'll be pious and stern (though all that zeal of the convert stuff was never convincing) and you can have a good laugh. Maybe he'll knock you back and if you're lucky take a swing at you — give you the shotgun talk complete with the shotgun, and maybe it'll work, and anyway it'll sting for a while… Maybe you just like to stir shit; maybe you might even make him jealous, which would be excellent. Well anyway, whatever, you don't go in questioning your motives and interrogating your inner thoughts all the time like some kind of _Austria_ , do you? (—fearless Prussia, well acquainted with running away from his own feelings.)

So here's Prussia, coming to Lithuania for relationship advice, _what the actual heck_.

* * *

Prussia wants to know, him and Poland: whaddya think, Lithuania?

"Not a great idea."

They're in Lithuania's office, as usual, and by now Lithuania hardly bothers with the pretence of trying to get on with his work when Prussia interrupts. They're not quite at the point of going out for drinks together — that is to say, bringing a bottle to the other person's room, although that _is_ where it's heading. Poland and Prussia do drink together: that's when it happened / didn't happen / nearly happened, of course. With Lithuania and Prussia there tends to be shouting and someone storming off in a huff. This too, it seems, is ritual.

It's all eerily calm so far.

"Yeah but I think he might go for it, though," Prussia presses, though it's nothing more than a wild hope tells him so.

"Mm, maybe." Lithuania doesn't seem offended at all. He doesn't seem _bothered_. "But even if… something were to happen like that, I still don't think it's… Even good people make mistakes."

So gentle. He's actually trying to make Prussia feel better, or something.

But you can't do that: it's like, Prussia doesn't know how to accept comfort, how to take anything freely given.

They're alike, these two, that way.

"Are you calling me a _mistake_?" Prussia snaps, but it's a weak and dull snap like a stale wafer.

"I wasn't actually. Don't take such names to yourself."

In which case… "Right then, am I supposed to believe you're calling me a good person? A good person making a mistake, it's no one's fault, bla bla bla and etcetera, but _you're_ calling _me_ a good person?" _You? Suffering Saint Lithuania, so much holier than any of the rest of us?_ (And good grief how did we get to this point? This way about?)

"Alright then," Lithuania says, "you know what: true. I mispoke. _No one is good, only God alone_ , remember?"

"…"

"The more that happens in this world, the more time _we_ spend together, the more I think that's true."

Lithuania isn't being kind anymore, he doesn't want to be; he doesn't even like Prussia and besides: here's another person casting you as the only one who can help and what if you don't _want_ to be that, not at the cost of everything you have and everything you are; you're not Christ Jesus, as has been pointed out, what if you want to save your own life for a change —

"Total depravity?" Prussia asks, manically bright, "Now that's the kind of theologically sound comfort I can count on you for, buddy!"

Lithuania just shrugs. "You know I sort of admire the stand you took against that, all that awesomeness stuff. That was a pretty brave blasphemy."

"No." Prussia feels hollow, suddenly sick of the whole topic. "No it wasn't; that wasn't… what it was." He makes a nothing gesture.

"Just good old fashioned arrogance then?"

Then Prussia really does snap. "YOU KNOW WHAT, LITHUANIA? You can call me arrogant, but that is pretty rich coming from you."

"Me?" Lithuania is genuinely taken aback. "You're calling _me_ arrogant?!"

"Ohh no, ohh no," exclaims Prussia, "you're so humble! Pious. Self-effacing, never proud or boastful–It's just that you're _always right_. Aren't you. Poland said that to me, did you know?"

Lithuania's quiet. He nods, accepting it, dulling the point of the words.

"He's said it to me too."

* * *

"So, the thing is… I might've. Said something. Dropped a pretty heavy hint, sort of thing. Maybe I was joking, though, right? The awesome Prussia, me… why would I want to hang around with you low-lifes, anyway! But, nah, me and Poland — you wouldn't believe it, these days, we're like. We're close. And if… I mean we got this far, so. Would that be so crazy impossible, really?"

Lithuania shakes his head, as he formulates a response to this embarrassing outpouring of stammered emotion. "Look, I really can't speak for him, I've told you what I think. Mm. One thing. You think you've been obvious? I'd say it's pretty likely Poland is entirely oblivious."

Prussia frowns. "I… don't think that's true, actually. No disrespect to your thousand year Relationship or whatever, but if you think he doesn't notice things you don't know him as well as you think you do."

"Well. Not exactly oblivious," Lithuania concedes, "but he's very good at not seeing things he doesn't want to see."

* * *

"What if I try again? What if I _make_ him see?"

"I told you. It'd probably be quite awkward for you."

"What about him?"

"Well, probably awkward for him too!"

"I _mean_ ," Prussia growls; Lithuania must be being deliberately obtuse here, "you're alright with this?"

"Is _that_ what you asking? Not my advice but my _permission_?!"

"NO! God… why would I do that? But, ya know… What would you think…" he pauses, then drops the name from his tongue, lightly, "...Liet?"

"I've told you. I don't think it's smart. But Poland can speak for himself and I'm not about to stop you talking to him, how could I?"

"I might go ahead, try it, whatever you say. Even if you said you wouldn't stand for it and threatened violence or something."

"Which I haven't done."

Prussia rocks on his heels. "Yeah but… even if you did."

"Why, in that case, are you asking?"

"I don't know, I'm just… asking!"

"And I've told you everything I can. I don't understand what you're looking for from this conversation."

"Liet, you're such a disappointment today! You're not gonna even fight me on this? All this _oh Poland's a grown-up he can make his own choices_ bullshit, is that all?"

"You wanted a fight?"

"I kind of expected one, to be honest! Here I am waltzing in and threatening your sacred star-crossed love story across the centuries, right, and you're not even going to give me a bloody nose over it?"

"I mean… would that dissuade you?"

"Fuck no!" (It wouldn't, probably _nothing will now_ ; if he could stop this whole thing, this fascination with Poland, if he could just give it a rest, he thinks, he would… right?) "But just— come _on_ —"

"You want me to punch you in the face?"

"Well not _now_!" Prussia flings out his arms in frustration. "Not just stand up from your desk and dutifully slug me one upside the head, how fucking lame would that look? But I'm surprised this doesn't even bother you. Unless… Hn. You always could keep your cool better than most of us."

Lithuania shakes his head. "No. You've said it already. Poland can make his own choices. I might not _approve_ of you, but what Poland says or does is nothing to do with me."

"So…" Prussia's mind races, and he finds an opening. When he continues, it's in a softer tone, dangerous and low. "So, you're saying you're not answerable for him. Not… his _keeper_ , or… don't you want to protect him?"

Lithuania is silent for several seconds. Then he says: "Of course I want to. But I have recognise that that's basically a selfish impulse."

" _God_ ," says Prussia, utterly deflated; you can't have honesty on both sides of the conversation like this.

And — the unspoken truth is loud in the stillness, anyway Lithuania _can't_ protect Poland. Hasn't been able to for a long while.

"But seriously," Lithuania adds, suddenly sharp, "it's not as if he needs protection from _you_ , is it, East Germany?"

"I'm not _threatening_ him!" It comes out hoarse, painfully sincere.

"Oh? One minute you'll 'make him see', and incidentally remind me I can't do anything to protect him this time, and now you're 'not threatening him'? Forgive me if I'm a little confused! You may be powerless now but it's _you_ , same as it always was. What is it you _want_ , Prussia?"

"Ha!" Prussia laughs wildly. This won't do, this will never do, he can't stand it! He declaims: "What do I want? Only everything! Europe, the world, the keys to the castle and the codes to the missiles – to blast it all to hell and start over or just not even bother. _Both of you_ , _just like I always have, do you not know that?_ To have or to hate! I wish I could just hate you. To… go back to how things were when they were simple. What's that literary word? Closure. Absolution. God…! What do I want!? Ha. What have you got?"

* * *

In the end, it's Lithuania who de-escalates again. _Look_ , he says, _I'm sorry it's like this. I really was trying to help._

But two can play at that game. Prussia gathers his pain and looks him dead in the eye and says quite humbly and frankly: _thank you. Thank you for talking with me, despite it all._

* * *

 **End-notes:**

Here were some of the notes I had for the "summary" of this, bit more character stuff esp re Poland than made it in:

 _Prussia is behaving badly because he's in a very bad way himself again, this time specifically he's needy and morose and difficult and he knows it but can't seem to stop so he's basically weaponising oversharing and deploying his own vulnerabilities offensively –_

 _– and Lithuania isn't kind, he doesn't want to be, he doesn't even like Prussia and besides: here's another person casting you as the only one who can help and what if you don't want to be that, not at the cost of everything you have and everything you are; you're not Christ Jesus, as has been pointed out, what if you want to save your own life for a change - And yet, despite all that it's. Not as dire as all that. Prussia is after all being honest. And Lithuania tries to help, a bit. And after all they don't hate each other, even though that might be more straightforward._

 _And Poland? Well I'm afraid he's offscreen, once more Sir not appearing in this fanfic, but he is very involved. That's the point somewhat; he's not here not with the rest of them in Russia's house. Not with Lithuania, with whom he is still very much in love, by the way, in a deep down calling to deep kind of way that will last and has lasted and Lithuania loves him too without shame now and they will end up together – but for now it's difficult. It's difficult simply to see each other for one thing, and when they do meet there's never enough time…. They're not comfortable together again yet._

 _Whereas… when Prussia sneaks out to bother Poland, everything is weirdly more simple. There's banter there and familiarity and despite everything and it was a lot especially recently, they generally have almost a fun time together and cheer each other up. Who'da thunk, eh? And that's not actually a million miles from what Prussia and Lithuania have. They get at each other and it's… slightly enjoyable. Though it's got more bite than banter. Maybe more depth and honesty, but that's not altogether good. It seems strange but of all three of them Poland was the first to voice the word 'forgiveness'._

If you read/liked this I'd love your feedback! c: I'm afraid I'm not very active here on fanfiction dot net anymore, but I'm trying to crosspost things now for people here! also catch me on the ao3 and tumblr


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